Wooop wop de (sugar free) gummi bear style
OK so a small play on words for gangnam style for this next verbal dumping into my blog....
As some of you may be aware I bought 3kgs of sugar free gummi bears for Claire F to take on a ski trip. Well, 1kg found its way back to me and I took them into work. They're still going although Joao and me have consumed the lions share as most are too scared (wise) to eat any. Last Friday (18th May) I decided to have quite a few. I didn't count exactly but it was more by the handful. The toxic emissions started at work but had died down by the time I got home. Next thing I feel is a rumbling in my guts. It felt like my intestines were being inflated like a sodding balloon animal. Being the cautious person I am, I did go to the little boys room because I didn't trust a fart at all, and for good reason. Afterwards I went for a lay down as being horizontal made the intestinal reinflation much more comfortable.
Thats when my stomach really started to complain. It sounded like I had swallowed a demon which was trying to communicate to me in ancient aramaic. Off to the toilet once more for another purge and deflation session, then back for another lay down. I think Sasha has a sixth sense about these things because she hadn't moved from the bed because she just knew I was going to come back.
I knew it wouldn't be safe for me to take Sasha for her walk as I just couldn't risk it. How right I was! 10 - 15 minutes later my stomach made such a noise that it even woke Sasha up and she started looking around the room to see who else was in there with us. I knew this wasn't going to be good and started to haul myself off the bed, taking a break so as not to anger my sphincter which was putting in an olympian effort to hold back the tide...
Its not the longest walk from my bedroom to the toilet, on a clear run (no pun intended) it'll take me about 6 seconds. This time was worse as I had to have two rest breaks with my rear parked up against the wall to give myself a fighting chance of getting to the toilet in time. I was scared to undo the top button on my jeans in case that was acting like a form of tourniquet but I knew it was going to fail at any moment. Got to the toilet, got parked, OMG I found myself wishing I had handles on the seat or even on the walls themselves. The gummi bears big finale was here and they'd turned my insides into a kercher pressure washer. Its never "tickled" before on the way out...
Deadpool 2
Sunday I went to Hemel to see DP 2 with Claire and Andrew. Don't think I regaled them with stories of 2 nights previously as my fractured psyche was still trying to comprehend the violent expulsion of pretty much everything in my entire system.
Anyway! The film itself was really good! I enjoyed it much more than the first one and I thought the first one was excellent also. Of course I'm not going to go into details in case you haven't seen it but I will happily go see it again. The only difference being that next time I will watch it at the Vue cinema in Staines because I'm such a seat snob and I want to sit in the plush recliney nighty night section....
Bloody potholes
Monday morning on the way to work I hit a pothole. Turned off the radio straight away to see if my tyre was running flat (you can hear these things as well as feel it). No it sounded fine so I kept on going on my way into work. The rest of the day was uneventful. Got home on Monday and went to the passenger side of the car. Thats when I saw it...
hows that for a ruptured sidewall!? Now I'm not the most knowledgeable person on cars and know that some things can be left for a little while and others are more urgent. Suffice to say a quick google search said that the tyre needed to be replaced / repaired immediately. "Great" I think to myself, a whole week before payday. Then I realised that I have been driving around on this tyre to and from work that day! Wow, that could have been seriously bad! So, I decided that I'd have to change it, put on the spare and try to get the tyre replaced ASAP. It looked like it was about to rain and there wasn't enough space for me to comfortably change out the tyre in the parking bays outside my flat. So I drove the car (very slowly) a few yards where I parked it under a tree and set to work. Got all the stuff out of the boot and started to change it. Great, thats when the rain really started and then shortly followed by lightning! So there I was, under a tree during a lightning storm changing a tyre and trying to get the old wheel off. Just couldn't help thinking to myself that only a week or two previously Keegan and I had been talking about storms and how I explicitly told him to NEVER seek shelter under a tree when there is lightning about. A bit of a double standard as the storm hadn't started when I initially went under the tree but still chuffed that I'd done my "man" activity
The next day I was able to get the tyre changed at the Kwik Fit across the road from the office. A bit of to-ing and fro-ing and it was a bit of a bummer that I couldn't leave my car there because they had "limited space in their car park". But also finding out that the other tyre on the front was nearing the legal limit so I'll need to replace that shortly. Oh and they just about got the wheel off because the locking wheel nut key and bolt are a bit worse for wear so I'm going to invest in a new set of locking wheel nuts and key come payday next week. To be honest I may as well get a new tyre while I'm at it as it'll need to be replaced. I'll get the garage to replace the locking wheel nuts and chuck the tyre fitter an extra £10 to swap out 3 extra bolts for me :-)
What do you bring to the table?
Am going to try to end this semi-funny post with hopefully something inspiring... I've been chatting to a few people this week which has made me want to write this part. Years ago I was working at a different place in Kingston as a software developer. I remember talking to the I.T. director and he said to me something I'll never forget "Don't judge yourself on what others are capable of". I remember the conversation because I was comparing my abilities against other more experienced professionals at the company.
Now I post, alot, ok, absolutely loads on Facebook and this blog is another outlet for my random ramblings. Whatever is going through my head or random observations I errrr observe. Its like my brain is trying to keep me entertained. I post, people comment, thats it. Yes sometimes I can take a comment the wrong way or overly personal but I recognise that. I guess what I'm trying to "say" or in this case "write" is that you have your own thing that makes you, you. We have friends in our lives because they like what we bring to the table. Maybe its my inability to take 50% of things seriously. Thats a good and potentially a bad thing but its me. You bring yourself to the proverbial table and people love that about you. if you want to bring more, then bring more but just make sure its what and who you are as thats the person you need to live with day in day out.
As some of you may be aware I bought 3kgs of sugar free gummi bears for Claire F to take on a ski trip. Well, 1kg found its way back to me and I took them into work. They're still going although Joao and me have consumed the lions share as most are too scared (wise) to eat any. Last Friday (18th May) I decided to have quite a few. I didn't count exactly but it was more by the handful. The toxic emissions started at work but had died down by the time I got home. Next thing I feel is a rumbling in my guts. It felt like my intestines were being inflated like a sodding balloon animal. Being the cautious person I am, I did go to the little boys room because I didn't trust a fart at all, and for good reason. Afterwards I went for a lay down as being horizontal made the intestinal reinflation much more comfortable.
Thats when my stomach really started to complain. It sounded like I had swallowed a demon which was trying to communicate to me in ancient aramaic. Off to the toilet once more for another purge and deflation session, then back for another lay down. I think Sasha has a sixth sense about these things because she hadn't moved from the bed because she just knew I was going to come back.
I knew it wouldn't be safe for me to take Sasha for her walk as I just couldn't risk it. How right I was! 10 - 15 minutes later my stomach made such a noise that it even woke Sasha up and she started looking around the room to see who else was in there with us. I knew this wasn't going to be good and started to haul myself off the bed, taking a break so as not to anger my sphincter which was putting in an olympian effort to hold back the tide...
Its not the longest walk from my bedroom to the toilet, on a clear run (no pun intended) it'll take me about 6 seconds. This time was worse as I had to have two rest breaks with my rear parked up against the wall to give myself a fighting chance of getting to the toilet in time. I was scared to undo the top button on my jeans in case that was acting like a form of tourniquet but I knew it was going to fail at any moment. Got to the toilet, got parked, OMG I found myself wishing I had handles on the seat or even on the walls themselves. The gummi bears big finale was here and they'd turned my insides into a kercher pressure washer. Its never "tickled" before on the way out...
Deadpool 2
Sunday I went to Hemel to see DP 2 with Claire and Andrew. Don't think I regaled them with stories of 2 nights previously as my fractured psyche was still trying to comprehend the violent expulsion of pretty much everything in my entire system.
Anyway! The film itself was really good! I enjoyed it much more than the first one and I thought the first one was excellent also. Of course I'm not going to go into details in case you haven't seen it but I will happily go see it again. The only difference being that next time I will watch it at the Vue cinema in Staines because I'm such a seat snob and I want to sit in the plush recliney nighty night section....
Bloody potholes
Monday morning on the way to work I hit a pothole. Turned off the radio straight away to see if my tyre was running flat (you can hear these things as well as feel it). No it sounded fine so I kept on going on my way into work. The rest of the day was uneventful. Got home on Monday and went to the passenger side of the car. Thats when I saw it...
hows that for a ruptured sidewall!? Now I'm not the most knowledgeable person on cars and know that some things can be left for a little while and others are more urgent. Suffice to say a quick google search said that the tyre needed to be replaced / repaired immediately. "Great" I think to myself, a whole week before payday. Then I realised that I have been driving around on this tyre to and from work that day! Wow, that could have been seriously bad! So, I decided that I'd have to change it, put on the spare and try to get the tyre replaced ASAP. It looked like it was about to rain and there wasn't enough space for me to comfortably change out the tyre in the parking bays outside my flat. So I drove the car (very slowly) a few yards where I parked it under a tree and set to work. Got all the stuff out of the boot and started to change it. Great, thats when the rain really started and then shortly followed by lightning! So there I was, under a tree during a lightning storm changing a tyre and trying to get the old wheel off. Just couldn't help thinking to myself that only a week or two previously Keegan and I had been talking about storms and how I explicitly told him to NEVER seek shelter under a tree when there is lightning about. A bit of a double standard as the storm hadn't started when I initially went under the tree but still chuffed that I'd done my "man" activity
The next day I was able to get the tyre changed at the Kwik Fit across the road from the office. A bit of to-ing and fro-ing and it was a bit of a bummer that I couldn't leave my car there because they had "limited space in their car park". But also finding out that the other tyre on the front was nearing the legal limit so I'll need to replace that shortly. Oh and they just about got the wheel off because the locking wheel nut key and bolt are a bit worse for wear so I'm going to invest in a new set of locking wheel nuts and key come payday next week. To be honest I may as well get a new tyre while I'm at it as it'll need to be replaced. I'll get the garage to replace the locking wheel nuts and chuck the tyre fitter an extra £10 to swap out 3 extra bolts for me :-)
What do you bring to the table?
Am going to try to end this semi-funny post with hopefully something inspiring... I've been chatting to a few people this week which has made me want to write this part. Years ago I was working at a different place in Kingston as a software developer. I remember talking to the I.T. director and he said to me something I'll never forget "Don't judge yourself on what others are capable of". I remember the conversation because I was comparing my abilities against other more experienced professionals at the company.
Now I post, alot, ok, absolutely loads on Facebook and this blog is another outlet for my random ramblings. Whatever is going through my head or random observations I errrr observe. Its like my brain is trying to keep me entertained. I post, people comment, thats it. Yes sometimes I can take a comment the wrong way or overly personal but I recognise that. I guess what I'm trying to "say" or in this case "write" is that you have your own thing that makes you, you. We have friends in our lives because they like what we bring to the table. Maybe its my inability to take 50% of things seriously. Thats a good and potentially a bad thing but its me. You bring yourself to the proverbial table and people love that about you. if you want to bring more, then bring more but just make sure its what and who you are as thats the person you need to live with day in day out.
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